These past few months..

In the hardest of times, there is life. Where there is life, there is Christ.. because Christ is life. 

This past year has been the biggest year of my life to say it simply. The year with the most joy, the most confusion.. the most peace, yet the most crazy.. the most “planned out” yet the most unexpected. 

When Dave and I decided to begin dating, I knew something special was ahead.. my heart was at such a peace before the Lord.. though I didn’t know what exactly was coming. 

A few months in, I knew I admired this guy with my whole heart. He made(&makes) me laugh till I am crying, he loves people with such a deep & earnest love, and he strove(&strives) to pursue Christ in each decision big&small.. leading me with a caring heart.. Genuinely seeking to serve me through seeking Christ foremost. 

Basically, I felt like I was gunna marry this guy.

After he surprised me with the most beautiful engagement.. my heart was so full. 

In the midst of this, I was also planning to go to Kenya for a month this summer.. something I had been praying about for many years... the plane tickets were bought.. and I was preparing to see what the Lord had in store for the summer with those beautiful friends that my heart is so drawn to. 

What a cool feeling it was.. Preparing to be in the country of my dreams with people filled with an overflowing joy... in the EXACT same summer I was going to marry the man I adore with my whole heart...!

April was here and wedding season was in full force with showers and planning & I had just run a half in Dallas with Jessie.. but something was feeling a little off.

After our race and in the midst of all the overflowing joys.. I felt like I kept not feeling well and my body was responding in different ways than normal..

The next weekend I was planning to come to Belton with Dave to be with the fam. And that week I definitely experienced the most sick I’ve ever felt. After getting checked out with a family doc, Dave and I carried on with our plans to do some photography that weekend.. and the evening after was just no bueno. 

We all ventured to the ER late that night and long story short I ended up in the hospital for a week.. and finally found out that I’ve got Crohn’s disease. 

But skipping over some of those details in there... there was so much the Lord was doing that calls for praise and rejoicing! 

How cool was it that Dave and I were already coming to Belton that weekend and everything happened there with my loving fam to surround us?

It allowed some really neat family time and growth for us all to be together and go through this hard time together...

Jesus sent so many beautiful people and friends to encourage our spirits!

It is the neatest blessing that the Lord chose to reveal Crohn’s in the season of engagement for Dave and I- that he could learn this process with me and we could be bonded even closer through this unexpected and life-changing event.

After being told about Crohns, some of the first words I heard was “You won’t be going to Kenya this summer” and that was a hard moment... to realize that this disease had come in and changed plans that I thought I had so beautifully lined out. 

My heart hurt, I was confused.. and bit frustrated and kinda overwhelmed.

But in that same moment.. Christ gave my heart a big hug..

Telling me to TRUST. That yes.. this stinks. But be patient.. hold fast to Him, let my heart rest.. that He was still in control. I am alive for Him.

Trust.

Dave and I had a cool conversation that weekend when we came back to College Station. About how so much had changed in a week.. not only Kenya.. but some long term plans we had been praying through...

Faithfully, Christ captured us both even more. Holding us tight. Drawing us closer to each other and Him.

Those few weeks were hard.. from figuring out different medicines.. and still struggling with plans changing so quickly and giving God a list of questions for where He had us.

But our Lord just keeps saying: Trust.

Now here we are.. ONE MONTH from marrying David Laws and living in a season of unexpected.. how much there is to rejoice for!

• David got such a neat job teaching at BCS in College Station.. and I an BEYOND excited to be his wife and support through this new season! I am in love with this man! Walking through this whole process with him has been the most beautiful and encouraging thing.. while drawing me so much closer to our King!
• We figured out our living situation in College Station and have a beautiful Church family surrounding us!
• I have gotten to spend some special time with my special family! ..they been so great in helping me with the small details of Crohn's such as figuring out a new diet.. so thankful!
• Being here this summer has allowed me to slow down with wedding planning and enjoy the blessings.
• And Christ has been working on me each day.. drawing me closer to Him and stretching, growing, teaching me through the process.

Wow. 

The biggest year of my life so far, but that doesn’t mean there won’t be bigger. As you all know.. we have no idea what is ahead. But we were made to be needy through the journey, needy for our creator, the one True Love: Christ.. who truly is life and has our crazy adventures in His hands.

I am overwhelmed by His love being so displayed in this season by my spirit filled, faithful, best friend and fiance David- it’s an honor to be on this by your side. 

Yes, God is good. We are His children. As we cling to Him.. He reveals His beautiful plan. We are alive for Him!

Love y’all!

“Through joy and pain, we worship!”

I desire to do your will, Oh God- your law is within my heart. 

-Psalm 40:8

But I will sing of your strength in the morning, I will sing of your love! For you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. -Psalm 59: 16 

In the leaning

"I lean not on my own understanding, my life is in the hands of the maker of heaven"

-He lead me to a place of safety; he rescued me because he delights in me.
-God's way is perfect. All the Lord's promises prove true. He is a shield to all who look to him for protection.
-The Lord lives! Praise to my Rock! May God, the Rock of my salvation, be exaulted!
2 Samuel 22: 20, 31, & 47

"I know that I can trust you, Lord"

I can say with all fullness of sincerity that this season of life has been my biggest one yet. Full of change, love, growth, and newness- there has been the biggest call to trust that I have ever experienced. 

*To trust that His plan is beautiful- no matter what is to come... He knows. I am created, we are created for the GLORY of God (Isaiah 43:7). Beautiful. (Glory- meaning "to give the correct opinion or estimate of"... we are created to shine for and to our creator!)

*To trust that He is holding every ounce of Dave and I's future as we prepare to walk into marriage.. that He calls me to faithfully love and serve Dave through first fully loving and serving Christ.

*To trust that He is writing every single piece of Kali and I's time in Kenya this summer... to walk in faith with knowing our lives are in His hands- and in His hands is LIFE

*To trust that the Lord is here- in every step.. no matter if I feel him or not. He is here.. always.

The name of the Lord is a strong tower!

Though at times- it feels like in the midst of these big changes.. I have to be in "control" of every little thing- the more I try to be in control.. the more life can seem "out of control"... 

Then the Lord, our faithful Father reminds me of His goodness and peace and helps me remember that only when I align my heart with His.. am I truly alive. 
Proverbs 3:5&6

I just wanted to share these thoughts.. writing them usually helps me see and understand them all the more...
Maybe they can be a vessel of encouragement for you in this season as well.
Our God is good. 

Also- Kenya Update!-
for those of you who don't know...
Kali Hellinghausen and I are leaving for Kenya on June 9th- getting there June 10th to work with Build the Village in Nandi Hills, Kenya (the same place the Lord allowed me to venture to in 2009)
We are so excited! As of now- we are praying through doing a ministry with women there for about three days each week for the month that we will be there. Our heart for that is for us, along with the Kenyan women to experience God in way which allows us to more fully understand His goodness and love in every part of our day as long as we are on this earth. By digging into the word with these women our prayer is that the gospel would spread through our daily lives and then spread through hearts in Kenya.  We are looking at going through a book called "Lord, I want to know You" by Kay Arthur- which is all about the names of God and his love for every part of us.  Along with that, we will be working with the orphanage and school that is located on-site.. and who knows what else our Father has in store there- I am excited to see it unfold!

If you want to lift up a prayer for us in leading this study- that as we prepare and pray through this.. the Lords words would speak to and through us and that we would quietly come before Him in each step.
Also- just for us to trust Him in every part of this.. and to walk in faith- completely. 

Feel free to let me know if you have any questions?

We are almost to our fundraising goal- so grateful! 
And I just re-stocked on a few hair flowers to sell (3$ each) and will be making more this weekend as well so let me know if you would like to purchase one!

One month after returning from Kenya- I will become a wife!
I CANNOT believe it- so so so thankful, in love, and excited. Thanks you guys for your love, support, and encouragement in these steps.

Love y'all..
Kelley 

We're Gettin' Married!

Yes Lord, we are grateful for Your Grace and for Your Love...

So there’s this guy, or should I say... there’s this fiance...

For those of you who know David, you know how incredible he is.  Wow. Well many of you know the story of our relationship.. (if you don’t- feel free to ask any time.. it’s my favorite story to tell, next to the life, death and resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!..) 

But I wanted to write about the stinking awesome day that this incredible guy asked me to spend the rest of my LIFE on earth with him! SO crazy!

I am going to try and not be all over the place with this.. so I hope it all makes sense. It’s also pretty detailed... so if you aim to read this.. you may want to set aside some solid time!... Okay- Love y’alll!

1.18.2013: around 4:00 I get a text from a friend, and it say’s “Happy Engagement!” haha, which I find so hilarious now- but was completely thrown off in the moment. I was walking into my house from school and had just opened the door and just about had a heart attack! I texted back that I was definitely not engaged. and they explained that it was the wrong Kelley in their phone.. someone at their school just got engaged and accidentally sent it to me!

So.. of course I believed it.. actually I more tried to convince myself that I believed it... 

By the end of that day... my heart was feeling pretty heavy with the fact that I got that message and my heart was stirred from it. It was definitely something I desired but knew it wouldn’t be soon so I had to just lay that before the Lord in patience and trust. My heart was also pretty heavy with Kenya preparations and getting the plane tickets/finances worked out... so when night time came around... I knew I just had to go on a walk and work through these things with the Lord.

So I did, and spent some solid time just sitting with God and praying through these things and laying my expectations before him. In doing this, His peace swept over me and gave me a sense of calmness and love that He is so faithful to give... but it was a process!

The next day was date day. David, Josh and Chandler and I were all supposed to go on a casual lunch date that we had just spontaneously planned a few days before....

1.19.2013 

I was planning to go hang out with Chelsea Groves, a lady who has meant SO MUCH to me in my time here in College Station.. and then go home around 11 and head off to the double date.

So that morning, I hung out with Chels and her precious kids and we just talked about life and had some great conversation.. but nothing too crazy about my relationship with Dave or anything, so all was feeling normal. I had also gotten a text from Dave checking to make sure 12 was still good for him to pick me up... and from Chan saying she was excited to hangout... so still nothing out of the ordinary was going on...

I got home around 11:30 and went inside and my roomies were just hanging out, so I talked with them for a second and they approved of my outfit for the date, haha.. so I just was waiting for David to pick me up...

Noon: Dave picks me up (looking as handsome as always..) and low and behold.. there outside was the tandem bike! 

The first date Dave and I ever went on... was on this tandem bike.. so I was super excited.

We rode to where he was living last semester.. the Luther house.. and out of all the 10 guys that live there.. not one was home.. and it was unusually clean... but I thought he had just wanted to make our date special. 

We walked into the kitchen and the menu for lunch was up.. also the exact same as from the first dinner date we ever went on: Quinoa Asian Stir fry. (This time he had the gluten free soy sauce... the first time he didn’t and I didn’t tell him until about a month or so ago.. haha!) 

We cooked this deliciousness and then proceeded to the exact same place where we first ate it.. the coffee table on his floor. 

It was at this moment.. I realized Josh and Chandler were not there... haha! I was utterly confused.. Dave just said that they had some other plans come up last minute but I could call her if I wanted... hmmm... so I just went with it....

As we were finishing the meal.. he said “I made you something” (My heart jumped) And he grabbed his bag and gave it to me... and inside was a scrapbook. When Dave told me I could only open the first page.. I knew something was up... but really was trying to convince myself it is just a really special date because I didn’t want to expect anything at all.

So I opened that beautiful scrapbook (he actually had handmade with Chandler back in December).. and went to the first page.. which was all I could open for now. 

It had an envelope in it which held his journal entry from early September... it was about 8 pages long.. full of scripture, prayers, and the processes he went through concerning our first date.

I WAS BLOWN AWAY. Definitely teared up and couldn’t believe it. Wow.

From there, I started to pick up dishes and he just said.. “It’s taken care of, lets go”

Double Wow... people were going to clean up after us! This whole day had already been so beautiful and we had only been thorough the first page of his scrapbook.

We got back on the tandem and proceeded to the garden on the Physics Building where we went at the end of our second date. He has some ice-cream waiting for us up there and we sat and talked. I then read the next journal which was from August..

I had to be dreaming. That’s all I can say.. haha, I was just amazed.

The next stop was Gabbard Park, a date that we went on the night before he met my family in October. There we had an awesome intentional conversation that I will never forget... we also had used some make-shift fishing poles Dave prepared for us. So this time, we did the same.. but also fed some ducks. :) So fun. 

I read Dave’s third letter and my heart was feeling so full of love and curiosity about where this all was leading to.

*Side note- Dave had Josh, Chan, and Jessie running all over throughout the date points to set up.. and I saw Josh and Chan at the park before we got there which was hilarious. Also- at each date spot throughout the day, Dave had these little white lanterns hanging up and more progressively appeared at each spot throughout the day.

David never has informed me of dates before we go on them. He always has kept them as a surprise no matter what we do... and so back in November I wanted to do that for him. My surprise date was to Central Park in C.S where I had made a question jar for us, which held funny, serious, and all in between questions... so our stop number five was back to Central Park where Dave had done the same with some new questions. We were having so much fun.. just slowing down and going through the questions and laughing together. I read the next journal entry (still in dream state) and we headed back to my house.

We pulled up to my house and the front porch was COMPLETELY decorated. BEAUTIFUL. My roommates had gone all out and had lights, candles, a rug, pillows, etc. on our front porch. My heart about stopped AGAIN. For a second, I thought he might propose there...

That porch has been a meaningful spot for David and I’s relationship as we have had some good conversations and worked through some important things. 

After I read the journal entry, Dave told me to go inside where I would have my roommate Jessie there if I needed anything.. and to take his bible.. and read through it as Christ leads, and to spend some time breathing, praying and processing. He told me Jessie would tell me what to do from there.

So I did just that.. after having a crying breakdown with Jess. I was able to be still and lay before the Lord and sort of get caught up to all that was going on. SO THANKFUL for this and for David to care about me so much to allow me to slow down and sit with our Savior for a good bit.

I then went back to my room where Jess had three outfit options for me and she helped me to pick one out. She told me someone would be here to get me in about 30 minutes and she spent some time praying for me.

5 PM- My PARENTS arrive. I about fainted. They came in and we just hugged and then went to the porch and sat, cried, and prayed together.. all in a inexpressible joy.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They then took me to Brison Park, the place where Dave and I “officially” decided to pursue an intentional relationship.

We pulled up, and I saw him sitting, reading his bible, and waiting for me. I stepped out of the car and David Laws stinking ran to me and gave me the best hug the world has ever known..

I was definitely so nervous and still couldn't fully believe what might be happening..

But it was.

Dave read some scripture with me out of Ruth and he covered me in kind, unbelievable words and encouragement.

And he proposed. HE PROPOSED. Crazy! 

My heart was so full and excited!!!!

First of all, I get to marry David Laws. Second of all, I am incredibly amazed that Christ has given me such a solid, Christ seeking, encouraging, faithful, sincere guy to walk towards Heaven with. Praise!

So after the proposal, Dave and I had a good hour to just talk and process together, and then he had set up an awesome number of our friends + family to meet at our Lifegroup leader’s house and celebrate/share the story! 

Man, our friends are so good to us and I am so thankful.

It is hard because there are so many more details I would love to share.. but I know this is so long already, so you are probably about ready to take a break! 

Since then, things have moved quickly with planning and celebrating but overall, I am still overwhelmed by love and excitement!

Above all else- I am excited to see what Christ has in store for these next steps... 

May the word’s of my mouth and the meditations of my heart, be pleasing to You, oh God. 

Psalm 19:14